LOVE PINK

I’ve come to my sense but im not giving up what i’ve started.

I know what i want. i need to be me again. I’ve been hiding for too long.

tc everybody not gonna post for a really long time. time to mug bitch!

i really want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me all the way since i started writing my first song even though it wasnt all that great. and if it wasnt for you guys, i wouldnt have dreamt bigger and done things that i’ve never once had the guts to do. thank you!!

i have no reason to run away. i need to face it. just hope things will be okay.

it was actually kinda bad. lol.

sometimes, if you put your heart into something, you might exceed even if it involves climbing over a million mountain. So, i believe i can! no matter what i do.

also, i need to kick out the bad habit of writing the conclusion on my own without hearing from the party. i need to learn to listen and not stop being so judgmental.

just shut up

if you are being compared, at least you have a chance to be the best in future.

i cant stop saying him! hahahas.

anyway, i went to drill hole into my guitar at peninsula, went library@esplanade to spam jason marz song which i still fail to be able to sing after one day and headed to the concourse for an amazing acoustic gig put up by cove red.

it’s amazing how fast local bands are growing in singapore. there are increasing number of really good bands but of course there are people like us who are stil amateurs. I really want to improve!! yeep! all the best to me!

while meeting this goal of mine, i need to confess! not like to him but confess about my current situation. apparently, i thought block test was like nothing but it was not. i was one of the lousiest in class and tan wants to call my dad, so im practically doomed! i’d being dreaming and imagining the day when my dad or aunt found out what i’ve been doing. i think they’ll just scream at me at the top of their voices and guess what, i even thought of a perfect reaction - leave home. and work and survive on my own ( IT’S A DREAM I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. PEOPLE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT IM A LONER AND I LIKE BEING ALONE, I LIKE LIVING ALONE AND SERIOUSLY LEAVING HOME WONT BE HARD FOR ME). but i know, it’s a selfish thing to do and i need to think about consequences and actually i have. okay maybe i should not say so much. okay. period, the rest keep it to myself. lol.information overloaded!

just a note: im so looking forward to saturday! melissa just called me informing me about sat! =) yeah!

but really i dont mind leaving alone and working and performing gigs and studying. my life will be perfect and so cool!

im sorry that i’d lie. im sorry im loving the things you hate. im sorry im doing so many things i love behind your back but i have no choice because i love what i am doing and it kills to just stop for one second. i am seriously. im crazy over songs, over singing, over guitar, over gigs, over performing, over him too. you may hate it but im sorry, im going to do all of them. i can listen to whatever you say but please let me have a say in my life.

him. right. some may know =) but ya. idk. hahas. really weird feeling. hannah can understand. but she has more balls than me because she dares to ask him out and she’s taking her chances. that’s good.

this whole week of jamming was unproductive. with fauzo, with sarvin and hannah. haix. still clueless about the songs to sing yet everyone is asking me to chill. maybe i should like take it easy, but i can only take it easy when we get things done and everything is prepare well and right now, we’re not. with fauzo we have two songs done while hannah, we have songs but not completed like no coordination, no chemistry, no harmonizing and even though we have, we screw up. haix. okay, fenni, breathe! Relax!i may sound unhappy but im actually learning along the way and sometimes, i kinda enjoy the feeling of performing and being with a band. it’s nice. =) really, you should try it.

okay, technically i didnt celebrate CNY nor V’day yesterday. firstly, no valentine and secondly, i was not in the mood.

recording rocks! but yesterday didnt record any, just practiced a very emotional song by katy perry - thinking of you. in the end, both of us were kinda moody.went to kexin’s place for steamboat and i was dead full. and guess what, i won $2.50 for the first time in my life just by playing black jack. WTH!

after that, i went home and went macs to do hw with fauzie and stayed throughout the night till 7am this morning. went home and slept like a pig.

and i realised he was actually fadhlina and farhanna’s elder sister’s ex bf. how cool is that? hahaha.

I BELIEVE AS LONG I WORK HARD TO IMPROVE MYSELF, I’LL GET THERE. I’M WILLING TO TAKE THE CHANCES AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH I NEED TO SACRIFICE, I WILL SACRIFICE. i need to concentrate and study! damn it!

okay, wish me luck on 23rd feb =) im joining the one! hahahas. im just saying: it’s really not about the win but the process and learning to be better in every performance. It’s all that matters. really. so dont discourage me even if you think i’ll lose because no matter what, i’ll win something at the end of it.

annescreamsmonster:

I was listening to a full-on Mika playlist last night. Now his concert is showing on tv. YAY. Great vday gift hahahah. ^^